My mother was right… Everyone isn’t your friend

My mother was right about something.

Abobe Stock Photo, Black Mother and Daughter

NOT THEM?

Not them? Not them? How? That’s my girl or he really loves me. She will shake her head and tell me to watch your back around that one, you will see. Now, I will admit I have this same innate ability when it comes to people I care about. I will get this little voice in my head that warns me that a particular person will harm my friend, but for some reason, this voice is MUTE when it comes to me and my interactions.

Back It Up…

Just to give you some background, the first time my mom vetoed someone was in college. She was my roommate and my mom kept saying she had it in for me. Sure enough that girl was jealous of me, she was taking my clothes, and my catch phrases, and we ended up in a shoving match. She was also not a fan of my college boyfriend and felt he was a spoiled rich kid who was holding me back. She was definitely right about that one. There was a coworkers she met that mom called conniving, and she slept with the guy I was dating when I introduced them at a party.

Jealous Spirits

Today we are going to talk about an ex-friend. My mom said the girl had a jealous spirit and that I needed to put her back where you found her. I will begin by saying, I have been doing a lot of work on myself since I left Chicago, discovering my lives and dislikes and not just what would make people in my life happy. I was downward spiraling in 2019, I was over-thinking actions, replaying arguments we had. Letting things go, I should not have let go, just to keep the peace. I was coping and coasting through life with these people. The stress and over accommodating before I left literally cause high blood pressure and made my hair prematurely grey. I accepted that part of myself needed to change, I didn’t need to be agreeable to be liked. If I have to agree with everything are you even really down for me.

4-Page Letters and Such

That was the last time I spoke to my “ex-friend.” Last week I reached out to see how she was surviving Covid and I got a 4 page email telling me I am a bitch who only makes mistakes, I was mentally unwell, and I was a failure at life and she hopes only bad things continue to happen to me. That all I do is cross lines and I need to find a place in this world far away from her. I have to admit that letter stung and it hurt to see someone I thought I was close to, think horrible things about me. As I pride myself on being a good person who would always go above and beyond and processing this loss hurts! I am able to see all the progress I have made in the last 6 months, I am not the same person I was when I last saw her, or even last spoke to her. I have new power and understanding that I have gained in my time away I don’t need to carry her emotional baggage or criticisms any longer. I don’t have to interact with that kind of energy, I can opt out or in this case, I don’t have to respond. (I didn’t respond to the letter, I left her wondering if I even read it.) I would usually impulsively react to things like this. I will say I thought about it. She said she blocked me in the letter and I checked. I wasn’t blocked and I thought about sending her the block instructions via email. LOL. That’s what she wants, she wants to justify her evil thoughts about me and my response would just be fuel to her already sour fire, so I will leave her on read. I am choosing a new path, new energy, new boundaries, and will be open to new people coming into my life, and or reconnecting with those who support me. I needed to make space for all the light coming and flowing into my life as of late.

Conclusions

I hate to say it… but my mother was right! That friend had some a deep seeded issues with me from the beginning and luckily let herself go. I am no longer tethered to her and her many opinions in my Jordan Peele voice. I get it now everyone is not my friend and I need to be more laid back. Because 10 years, and many backstabs later, now I know the truth about how she felt about me, and it’s freeing! I am taking a break from things that no longer serve me. That’s not to say, I won’t still be nice and open but I will be more cautious with making friends. There are new opportunities and new people that are bound to come into my life after removing this kind of negative energy. The universe removed her for a reason and I am here for it. I will trust in the Lord and leave myself open to relationships that actually serve me.

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Krysty Del

I’m just a girl standing in front of her computer asking you to read her. A writer of wrongs. A place where psychology, dating, politics, and fashion meet.